Comments on: Schiano Schiano Schiano

Schiano Schiano Schiano

kmz — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 09:29:40 -0800

Breaking Madden: Greg Schiano, Greg Schiano, Greg Schiano, and Greg Schiano. Greg Schiano, the head coach of the still winless Buccaneers said earlier this season that the solution to their problem was more Greg Schiano. To test this theory, Jon Bois (previously) tinkered a bit with Madden to reproduce this week's Bucs-Jaguars game with Greg Schiano as every player on the Bucs.

By: Carillon

Carillon — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 09:33:57 -0800

Don't forget the wonderful MSRA infection sweeping through the bucs locker room! The Falcons had people with hazmat suits cleaning out the visitors lockers after the bucs stopped by.

By: Ghostride The Whip

Ghostride The Whip — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 09:34:31 -0800

This is some of the best games writing I've ever read.

By: kbanas

kbanas — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 09:41:11 -0800

Also, just FYI, Greg Schiano is super awful.

By: codacorolla

codacorolla — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 09:45:16 -0800

Excellent.

By: MCMikeNamara

MCMikeNamara — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 09:46:16 -0800

I have a feeling this Breaking Madden installment might be more popular in the Bucs locker room than a biohazard suit. When MRSA sweeping through your locker room is a sidenote to how shitty your season is, you are in a bad, bad place. For those not in the know, the Buccaneers are 0-7. And Schiano's team fucking hates him ("Greg Schiano loses Tampa Bay Buccaneers with autocratic style") and that's according to NFL.com -- a site not exactly known for speaking out about league business.

By: Homeboy Trouble

Homeboy Trouble — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 09:50:09 -0800

There was something about the way the entire defensive line swarmed QB Schiano in this GIF, hitting him in waves like velociraptors in helmets that just started me laughing for like five minutes. Just like all of a sudden, everything in Schiano's world is massive angry men bearing down on him, and once the first set destroys him, the second set swoops in to pick up the ball and carry it in for a touchdown. Not seen are the third set of men, who are outside the stadium letting the air out of his tires and putting a banana in his tailpipe, or the fourth set of men who are in his office, hiding sardines behind his desk and drawing a moustache on the picture of his wife. That's how thoroughly virtual QB Schiano is getting worked over in this play.

By: Curious Artificer

Curious Artificer — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 09:50:38 -0800

The full-field view gif of the sack being recovered for a fumble and a TD is going to have me chuckling all afternoon.

By: Curious Artificer

Curious Artificer — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 09:50:56 -0800

Yeah, that one!

By: Atom Eyes

Atom Eyes — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 09:53:26 -0800

This would have worked with Tecmo Bowl's Bo Jackson.

By: penduluum

penduluum — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 09:56:24 -0800

That was actually a HB screen play and the offensive line was doing exactly what the play told them to do but it's a really funny .gif and it tells the story well so whatever

By: kiltedtaco

kiltedtaco — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 10:19:04 -0800

I strongly dislike both sports writing and video game writing and found this to be the funniest thing ever.

By: ThePinkSuperhero

ThePinkSuperhero — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 10:19:10 -0800

I'm beginning to get the appeal of a football video game. This is funny.

By: smackfu

smackfu — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 10:25:14 -0800

You mean jumping a coach from Rutgers to NFL didn't work out? Even as a Rutgers alum, this was completely expected.

By: kbanas

kbanas — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 10:30:22 -0800

Even as a Rutgers alum, this was completely expected. After Lloyd Carr stepped down, there was a lot of talk that he would maybe come to Michigan. Really super pleased that didn't work out.

By: drezdn

drezdn — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 10:37:14 -0800

A Schiano man doesn't rely on anyone but himself... and 21 of his clones.

By: no regrets, coyote

no regrets, coyote — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 10:42:26 -0800

I strongly dislike both sports writing and video game writing and found this to be the funniest thing ever. Jon Bois has been on the Blue a handful of times in the last few months. He's always a treasure. Here he is "fixing" GTA V.

By: Etrigan

Etrigan — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 10:46:33 -0800

You mean jumping a coach from Rutgers to NFL didn't work out? Well, to the Buccaneers. More of a hop, really.

By: mrgrimm

mrgrimm — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 10:46:41 -0800

Speed=10. All the Schianos are about as fast as my four-year-old. No surprise to the score. I think the people likely to find this funny are those not to play computer football. Maybe. And piling on is for chumps. That said, dood is a Christ-like asshole.

By: Navelgazer

Navelgazer — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 10:51:09 -0800

I love this, as I love everything Jon Bois writes, but this particularly nails what my first thought was when I saw an option for "All Madden Team."

By: COBRA!

COBRA! — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 10:56:28 -0800

Holy shit, that was excellent.

By: jaduncan

jaduncan — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 11:03:52 -0800

And Schiano's team fucking hates him ("Greg Schiano loses Tampa Bay Buccaneers with autocratic style") and that's according to NFL.com -- a site not exactly known for speaking out about league business. Invisible subtitle: "and has also pissed off the NFL commissioner and PR staff".

By: The Card Cheat

The Card Cheat — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 11:12:35 -0800

Admission: I created Miis of a few famous people I dislike just so I could destroy them with my own maxed-out avatar in Wii Boxing. "DOWN GOES LIMBAUGH!!! DOWN GOES LIMBAUGH!!!

By: notyou

notyou — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 11:40:37 -0800

That was great. Here's how, in Fall of 2001, Old Man Murray struck back at Al Qaeda via EA's NHL 2002.

By: ricochet biscuit

ricochet biscuit — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 11:59:01 -0800

It is the Coming Up of sports video games.

By: saladin

saladin — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 12:24:10 -0800

Oh man, this was hilarious. That final video set to Slint absolutely slayed me.

By: arkham_inmate_0801

arkham_inmate_0801 — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 12:25:55 -0800

I was in tears this is so funny.

By: Navelgazer

Navelgazer — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 12:37:10 -0800

The no-arm tackle is where I starting having fits.

By: Mental Wimp

Mental Wimp — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 13:45:14 -0800

Excellent!

By: tonycpsu

tonycpsu — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 14:13:28 -0800

YEAH BITCH, SCHIANO! (This is fantastic.)

By: eriko

eriko — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 16:41:57 -0800

when I saw an option for "All Madden Team." BAM! POW! ZWACK! (Draws orange line on screen)

By: paulsc

paulsc — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 17:07:55 -0800

You guys laugh, but the Bucs are a powerhouse compared to the 0-7 Jacksonville Jags, by any statistical measure. I mean, really, this week the Jags went to London to play an NFL game on foreign soil as part of the NFL's greater expansion plan strategy, and British immigration officials wouldn't let 'em in to the country, until one by one, every Jags player confessed to being a "tourist" and not a member of any professional organization there on business...

By: paulsc

paulsc — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 17:28:08 -0800

Chapter 2 of the 2013 Jags Follies in England began a new plane of ridiculousness when auto parts magnate/new Jags owner Shad Khan bought a Premier League English football club a few weeks ago, too. Here's hoping he'll do for the the English Premier League everything he's already done for the NFL's worst franchise... And good luck to the 49'ers this coming Sunday, trying to keep a straight face, up against that grinning mustache, and the hapless Jags.

By: yerfatma

yerfatma — Sat, 26 Oct 2013 03:05:54 -0800

It occurred to me this morning the laws of nature and the Laws of Newton both require that in bars all across this great land of ours, there are pro-Schiano guys. Christ, they must be so white you can see the glow from space. The takeaway is I should not be up before 6 on Saturdays.

By: yerfatma

yerfatma — Sat, 26 Oct 2013 03:12:09 -0800

this week the Jags went to London Are you suggesting English fans will be put off by a football team scoring nil?

By: drezdn

drezdn — Sat, 26 Oct 2013 06:34:45 -0800

It's a thing of beauty when the whole defensive line runs in unblocked.