Comments on: "A falcon won't fuck just any old hat."

"A falcon won't fuck just any old hat."

oulipian — Sat, 08 Oct 2022 13:43:09 -0800

How Literal Fuck Hats Saved the Peregrine Falcon

By: bleep

bleep — Sat, 08 Oct 2022 13:48:25 -0800

"Sometimes they would give their only birds, not knowing if they would ever see a falcon again in their lives, all to save the species." This is extremely wonderful and beautiful. Humans are NOT all bad. Note that if you have the phobia where you don't like seeing holes in things you will want to scroll right past the images but there aren't too many.

By: juv3nal

juv3nal — Sat, 08 Oct 2022 14:06:46 -0800

Also featured on QI.

By: Phalene

Phalene — Sat, 08 Oct 2022 14:07:49 -0800

I deeply appreciate this post. It has everything. Puerile levity go snigger over so loudly my partner was forced to pause his podcast, and heartwarming faith in my own species fuel.

By: GenjiandProust

GenjiandProust — Sat, 08 Oct 2022 14:13:22 -0800

It's a three-man falcon handjob, essentially. I think I read this fanfic.

By: jeffburdges

jeffburdges — Sat, 08 Oct 2022 14:19:35 -0800

I'll drop panda pornography here too, but expect NSFW results if you search those terms.

By: Halloween Jack

Halloween Jack — Sat, 08 Oct 2022 14:21:39 -0800

"In the dumps with the mumps As the adolescent pumps his way into his hat" --B. Springsteen, predicting the salvation of the peregrine falcon

By: Jon_Evil

Jon_Evil — Sat, 08 Oct 2022 14:46:47 -0800

But I still don't know how the fuck hat was discovered! What was the process by which they figured out falcons would fuck a hat, and the kind(s?) of hat falcons like to fuck?

By: Abehammerb Lincoln

Abehammerb Lincoln — Sat, 08 Oct 2022 15:03:36 -0800

Deep cut, Halloween Jack, hat's off.

By: jenfullmoon

jenfullmoon — Sat, 08 Oct 2022 15:18:32 -0800

This is absolutely delightful and dirty and relevant to my interests.

By: cynical pinnacle

cynical pinnacle — Sat, 08 Oct 2022 15:25:10 -0800

"haberdashery" tag for this post Indeed

By: kyrademon

kyrademon — Sat, 08 Oct 2022 15:25:26 -0800

> "What was the process by which they figured out falcons would fuck a hat" If you wear the proper sort of hat, you find out by accident. It is a bit unnerving.

By: Greg_Ace

Greg_Ace — Sat, 08 Oct 2022 15:31:31 -0800

How Literal Fuck Hats Saved the Peregrine Falcon Is "Literal Fuck Hats" a punk band that donated their gig money to a "save the falcons" charity? (If not, it certainly should be)

By: pyramid termite

pyramid termite — Sat, 08 Oct 2022 16:10:26 -0800

sockpuppet in 1 2 3 ...

By: clavdivs

clavdivs — Sat, 08 Oct 2022 16:23:54 -0800

200mphfalconsexhat

By: ricochet biscuit

ricochet biscuit — Sat, 08 Oct 2022 17:24:29 -0800

What was the process by which they figured out falcons would fuck a hat, I am somehow inclined to think of those moments in The Flintstones when a bird serving as a turntable stylus or a baby mammoth working as a vacuum cleaner shrugs, "Meh, it's a living."

By: clavdivs

clavdivs — Sat, 08 Oct 2022 17:43:54 -0800

I'm thinking Jimmy from Yellowstone.

By: Ishbadiddle

Ishbadiddle — Sat, 08 Oct 2022 18:51:23 -0800

It's not just a hat, it's a device for Raptor Rapture Capture.

By: amtho

amtho — Sat, 08 Oct 2022 19:27:36 -0800

In the end, the falconers had no need to worry. The Peregrine Fund's captive breeding program successfully bred and released over 4,000 birds Not true. They DID need to worry; that worry is what made the whole thing work.

By: clavdivs

clavdivs — Sat, 08 Oct 2022 19:42:41 -0800

183 mph

By: CostcoCultist

CostcoCultist — Sat, 08 Oct 2022 19:53:04 -0800

It's important to have a job that makes a difference, boys. That's why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination.

By: CostcoCultist

CostcoCultist — Sat, 08 Oct 2022 19:57:41 -0800

Bonus internet points if you can make the movie above. I knew about the heroic efforts to save the California Condor, but I had no idea that falcons were so close to the edge. And good on regular folks for saving them On the other hand, I know someone with a champion show-dog, in demand for studding. They have made quiet the effort to have his semen extracted and sent all over the country and the world. I would rather see that effort put into wild animals than spoiled pets

By: Zumbador

Zumbador — Sat, 08 Oct 2022 21:02:31 -0800

The falcon who mistook his hat for a wife?

By: flabdablet

flabdablet — Sat, 08 Oct 2022 21:05:33 -0800

That guy is fucked in the head.

By: Zumbador

Zumbador — Sat, 08 Oct 2022 21:09:39 -0800

I must say, for the falcons' sake I'm relieved they came up with an alternative to the manual masturbation method. Oof.

By: Pink Fuzzy Bunny

Pink Fuzzy Bunny — Sat, 08 Oct 2022 21:33:03 -0800

It's always wise to use protection, it's just not safe to get shagged by a rare bird without it..

By: Pronoiac

Pronoiac — Sat, 08 Oct 2022 22:24:26 -0800

That became an animated Slack reaction, and then a growing family of animated Slack reactions.

By: srboisvert

srboisvert — Sun, 09 Oct 2022 02:52:33 -0800

A decade ago during my very first time in Chicago while apartment hunting with my wife we saw a juvenile falcon on top of an SUV in the driveway next to a Mies van der Rohe building. I thought "Holy shit Chicago is pretty weird and wild" and it has been ever since. 5 days ago I took this picture of a falcon 39 stories above us on a penthouse window at Lincoln Park Twenty Five Fifty. It was one of two that were on the building.

By: rmd1023

rmd1023 — Sun, 09 Oct 2022 05:02:20 -0800

I knew that Peregrine falcons had been endangered and were now happily living all over the US - gotta love the various falcon-cams in cities. I had no idea we have FUCK HATS to thank for this. Hell yes, humans doing good (if weird) things for good reasons.

By: epjr

epjr — Sun, 09 Oct 2022 05:30:44 -0800

Thanks for that. On the advice of Werner Herzog to learn storytelling in his masterclass he suggests this book, where the author spends so much time with them he basically becomes a Peregrine. J. A. Baker's "The Peregrine" Beautiful, I don't want it to end. Some sentences are just lists of all the birds in his sightline, with a tiny specific detail of their daily life in that moment. Eventually you believe this is how or what a Peregrine thinks. Which won the Duff Cooper Prize in 1967 which in itself is full of such great things.

By: Too-Ticky

Too-Ticky — Sun, 09 Oct 2022 07:02:50 -0800

Hurray! Now do polar bears.

By: dr_dank

dr_dank — Sun, 09 Oct 2022 07:09:50 -0800

Afterwards, falconers often reward the birds with a bit of food and end the session with a "chup" vocalization Chup chup chup chup chup Fuck my hat you silly birdo Here's a pistachio

By: joeyh

joeyh — Sun, 09 Oct 2022 07:37:45 -0800

the falconers must have seen the pussy hats and been like "...."

By: [insert clever name here]

[insert clever name here] — Sun, 09 Oct 2022 09:38:32 -0800

Humans very nearly lost Peregrine falcons through years of fucking over nature. It seems all that was needed to save the species, though, was to let nature fuck a human.

Chef's kiss ( ˘ ³˘)*

By: NoThisIsPatrick

NoThisIsPatrick — Sun, 09 Oct 2022 09:44:36 -0800

the asshats sit silently by waiting for our day to come

By: JohnFromGR

JohnFromGR — Sun, 09 Oct 2022 11:01:58 -0800

I wonder if this would work for California condors...

By: Greg_Ace

Greg_Ace — Sun, 09 Oct 2022 13:12:07 -0800

We're gonna need a bigger hat.

By: biogeo

biogeo — Sun, 09 Oct 2022 15:14:48 -0800

Oh sure, you do it for conservation and you're a hero, but you do it for fun and they call you a freak.

By: Greg_Ace

Greg_Ace — Sun, 09 Oct 2022 15:37:11 -0800

"Do they call me Jones the Falcon Saver?? No!! But wear one fuck hat..."

By: parliboy

parliboy — Sun, 09 Oct 2022 22:46:18 -0800

Also featured on Casual Geographic

By: nebulawindphone

nebulawindphone — Mon, 10 Oct 2022 05:37:47 -0800

[sigh] Metafilter: Literal fuck hats

By: HotToddy

HotToddy — Mon, 10 Oct 2022 15:13:55 -0800

I couldn't understand what could be so incredibly "intense" or "stressful" about it, until I watched the video. Holy hell.

By: Big Al 8000

Big Al 8000 — Mon, 10 Oct 2022 22:27:18 -0800

The Peregrine Fund is awesome. I'm (my students are, actually) currently in the middle of building around 15 kestrel boxes so our school science club can start doing research as part of the Fund's American Kestrel Partnership. If all goes well, one of the boxes will get mounted on our campus and will host a nesting pair, which would be totally cool because our mascot is the J-Hawk.

By: Bella Donna

Bella Donna — Tue, 11 Oct 2022 02:11:24 -0800

I love this post soooo much! However, I managed to confound a buddy during our weekly phone chat. "Peregrines were saved with fuck hats!" WUT? I repeated myself and added, "I can send you a link if you want!" He did not want. The concept of fuck hats and falcons did not slide easily into his noggin. I have a different kind of noggin. This is great. Thank you, oulipian.

By: biogeo

biogeo — Tue, 11 Oct 2022 20:45:32 -0800

did not slide easily into his noggin Phrasing!