Comments on: Neverdrinkmilkagain, neverdrinkmilkagain, I promise, neverdrinkmilkagain...

Neverdrinkmilkagain, neverdrinkmilkagain, I promise, neverdrinkmilkagain...

Cool Papa Bell — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:12:52 -0800

I don't care how creative you think you are. You can't top this for terrifying imagery. "She was chasing children in a cow costume."

By: Iosephus

Iosephus — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:20:36 -0800

Rule 34bis: there's a police report of it, no exceptions.

By: Alexandra Kitty

Alexandra Kitty — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:21:35 -0800

I'm sure there is an irrational explanation for all this...

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:22:26 -0800

Could have gone down much worse.

By: Parasite Unseen

Parasite Unseen — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:23:03 -0800

Was she arrested for a Mooooving Violation? Here all week, folks.

By: turgid dahlia

turgid dahlia — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:24:01 -0800

This is udderly unacceptable.

By: mannequito

mannequito — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:24:45 -0800

The weird part is the police let her keep her cow-hat on for the mugshot. Oh wait, that's not the weird part..

By: strangeleftydoublethink

strangeleftydoublethink — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:24:57 -0800

First, they came for the people wearing cow suits and peeing on front porches, and I did nothing...

By: From Bklyn

From Bklyn — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:25:18 -0800

"Oh Fame, I've got you in my hot little mits now..."

By: turgid dahlia

turgid dahlia — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:26:00 -0800

At least in the hokey she will have a long time to ruminate over the error of her ways.

By: Christ, what an asshole

Christ, what an asshole — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:26:04 -0800

Her behavior was udderly reprehensible. I wonder if they're gonna try to milk more charges out of this incident. (some stupid haiku) Only in Amerrrica. A graduate of bovine university. I hope she didn't break her calf. etc.

By: Benny Andajetz

Benny Andajetz — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:27:52 -0800

I wonder what her beef was.

By: turgid dahlia

turgid dahlia — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:30:31 -0800

I hope in prison she doesn't get shanked.

By: CynicalKnight

CynicalKnight — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:30:44 -0800

The Ohio woman, 30, was arrested Saturday night after she got liquored up and began chasing kids and blocking traffic in her Middletown neighborhood Clearly a case of Bovine Intervention.

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:31:21 -0800

I don't care how creative you think you are. You can't top this for terrifying imagery. "She was chasing children in a cow costume." Sure we can. Won't you join me? She/he/it was [blank]ing [blank] in a [blank] costume. 1. Bush was meeting with foreign dignitaries in a president's costume 2. McCain was meeting with foreign dignitaries in a president's costume 3. Palin was meeting with foreign dignitaries in a president's costume ... 4. Palin was meeting with foreign dignitaries in a moose costume

By: wemayfreeze

wemayfreeze — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:31:34 -0800

You have a strange idea of "terrifying." Hilarious, maybe you meant?

By: strangeleftydoublethink

strangeleftydoublethink — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:32:27 -0800

Damn those lactose intolerant cops!

By: BeerFilter

BeerFilter — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:32:39 -0800

I'd like to know what jscott thinks about all this.

By: An Infinity Of Monkeys

An Infinity Of Monkeys — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:34:31 -0800

This tail is udder tripe, and not at all mooving.

By: Christ, what an asshole

Christ, what an asshole — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:36:01 -0800

Oh wait, I actually came up with a good one: EPONYSTERICAL Cuz see, Cool Papa Bell is like Babybel, and what's the mascot of the brand? A cow! ... Fuck you all.

By: Smedleyman

Smedleyman — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:36:12 -0800

This reminds of that one thing that one time with that other guy. Y'know.

By: jimmythefish

jimmythefish — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:36:28 -0800

At least in the hokey she will have a long time to ~~ruminate~~ urinate over the error of her ways.

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:38:27 -0800

Lieutenant Muterspaw He knitted his brow And said Michelle Allen Was dressed as a cow. She peed on a porch And chased after kids And nobody in town Could explain what she did. It's the damnedest thing ever In North Verity; There usually ain't cows In the parkway. And they usually ain't drunk And threatening to fight But I guess Michelle Allen Was drinking that night. She'll be spending a month In the local hoosegow And that's what you get When you dress like a cow.

By: Artw

Artw — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:38:30 -0800

Something something flanking Manuever.

By: Sailormom

Sailormom — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:40:25 -0800

I bet those kids she was chasing had a cow.

By: BrotherCaine

BrotherCaine — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:40:36 -0800

Prions? Was she screaming MILK ME!, cause that would be funny.

By: ColdChef

ColdChef — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:40:55 -0800

I hope they read her Moo-randa rights.

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:42:04 -0800

I never saw a Busted Cow, I never hope to see one; But I can tell you, anyhow, I'd rather see than ~~be one~~ Have one pee all over my Goddamned porch.

By: jimmythefish

jimmythefish — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:55:48 -0800

flush with drink to heave a turgid suit flush with thoughts of running children

By: UrineSoakedRube

UrineSoakedRube — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:56:17 -0800

Like none of you have ever dressed up in a cow costume and ran around frightening kids.

By: woodway

woodway — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:57:30 -0800

(was the porch Outback?)

By: Kinbote

Kinbote — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:57:33 -0800

I have put on the cow-suit that was hung in the closet and which you were probably saving for Hallowe'en. Forgive me I chased the children and peed on the porch.

By: Riki tiki

Riki tiki — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:59:08 -0800

Do you think the police conducted a steakout before arresting her?

By: Artw

Artw — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 16:00:38 -0800

This is probably a terrible story of mental illness and social decay that we should all feel very bad about making funof, BTW. But fuck it, cow costume!

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 16:01:05 -0800

Forgive me I chased the children and peed on the porch. So sweet and so cold.

By: bookish

bookish — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 16:04:35 -0800

Surely you mean 'so warm.'

By: woodway

woodway — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 16:04:57 -0800

purple... plums... holy cow...

By: MiltonRandKalman

MiltonRandKalman — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 16:05:13 -0800

Is everyone done milking this?

By: nola

nola — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 16:07:00 -0800

Life can make you do some crazy shit.

By: dersins

dersins — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 16:13:26 -0800

Note to self: Adding a second link to your single-link news-of-the-weird post makes it not a single-link news-of-the-weird post.

By: swift

swift — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 16:25:38 -0800

Beautiful, youthful Leaves of strange grass run from me. Why can't I just graze?

By: oddman

oddman — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 16:25:50 -0800

I am so very please that they include a picture with the article. Also, as written, the sentence could be interpreted to mean that they were all in the costume during the chase, or the the children were all in a single costume as they were chased. Either one is pretty awesome.

By: Pants!

Pants! — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 16:26:08 -0800

Could we stop with the Palin FPPs?

By: lukemeister

lukemeister — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 16:27:00 -0800

*feels intense relief that BoingBoing thread about this has more comments than MeFi thread*

By: gimonca

gimonca — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 16:27:12 -0800

Behold, the power of cheese.

By: turgid dahlia

turgid dahlia — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 16:27:42 -0800

Reporter: So how do you feel about these developments? Interviewee: Oh, y'know. Half-and-half.

By: Bernt Pancreas

Bernt Pancreas — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 16:27:57 -0800

Somebody probably tried to tip her over while she was sleeping. I'd be mad, too.

By: porn in the woods

porn in the woods — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 16:39:08 -0800

PUSSY COW!

By: Smedleyman

Smedleyman — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 16:40:58 -0800

What are her plans for summer vacation?

By: DU

DU — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 16:41:16 -0800

COW JOKE

By: jonmc

jonmc — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 16:46:28 -0800

I've worked for not one, but two different companies that used cows as their logos. This si giving me flashbacks. Thanks a lot.

By: ColdChef

ColdChef — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 16:46:59 -0800

Black angus...I got nothin'.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 16:59:41 -0800

I guess we've milked it for all it's worth.

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 17:01:58 -0800

Have the cows come home, then?

By: Demogorgon

Demogorgon — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 17:03:03 -0800

WTF BBQ

By: zerobyproxy

zerobyproxy — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 17:19:20 -0800

You know why a milking stool has three legs? Because the cow has the udder.......... Press here.

By: dersins

dersins — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 17:24:27 -0800

I've worked for not one, but two different companies that used cows as their logos. Tucows? OMG!

By: jonmc

jonmc — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 17:25:42 -0800

Someone should stick up for her. there's a lot at steak here.

By: hal9k

hal9k — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 17:29:42 -0800

I'm Bessie, dammit!

By: casarkos

casarkos — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 17:37:47 -0800

Mooove along, nothing to see here...

By: joecacti

joecacti — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 17:38:57 -0800

Best of the web.

By: mudpuppie

mudpuppie — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 17:40:13 -0800

Blah blah blah mad cow disease blah blah.

By: zippy

zippy — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 17:48:47 -0800

Heffer? I hardly ...

By: lukemeister

lukemeister — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 17:49:20 -0800

Eph you and your silly cow stories.

By: nola

nola — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 17:51:14 -0800

This must be some kind of PETA stunt.

By: lukemeister

lukemeister — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 17:54:29 -0800

It's a new economic stimulus package. The government is hoping to get a lot of moola.

By: netbros

netbros — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 17:55:41 -0800

Eat more chikin.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 18:02:46 -0800

That's offal.

By: C17H19NO3

C17H19NO3 — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 18:39:43 -0800

Apparently Ben & Jerry's was taking PETA's advice.

By: Aversion Therapy

Aversion Therapy — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 18:59:01 -0800

"Oh Fame, I've got you in my hot little mits now..." Hooves.

By: waraw

waraw — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 19:08:01 -0800

I've been looking for new ways to meat people.

By: ardgedee

ardgedee — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 19:29:03 -0800

... Elmer left two twenties on the bar and snuck out the staff door by the restrooms. The other bulls told him Bessie was a wild date but he hadn't counted on the near riot that followed her second umbrella drink. On the slow hike back to the old barn, Elmer had the time to take inventory of who he'd told about tonight's date. Not many. His paddock mates would put two and two together quickly, but they'd back him up if anybody started asking questions. All he'd really need is an alibi and some luck that Bessie's friends wouldn't get too curious...

By: pyramid termite

pyramid termite — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 20:50:20 -0800

so there you are, mickey and donald and uncle scrooge and goofy, with your multi-million dollar mansions and your rolls royces and your exclusive shopping sprees in new york, dubai, beverly hills and miami beach and you never ONCE THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR OLD CO-STAR CLARABELLE, DID YOU? walt disney would turn in his grave if his head wasn't stuck in an ice box ...

By: L.P. Hatecraft

L.P. Hatecraft — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 21:39:12 -0800

The costume is cool, but it needs more cowbell.

By: eye of newt

eye of newt — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 22:34:36 -0800

This is why I stay away from stage hypnotists.

By: Spatch

Spatch — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 06:04:31 -0800

Damn the electric fence! Damn the electric fence! Thank you.

By: jenkinsEar

jenkinsEar — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 06:18:56 -0800

What will PETA think of next?

By: Lentrohamsanin

Lentrohamsanin — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 08:00:06 -0800

Metafilter: warned by officers to go home and stay there

By: Mastercheddaar

Mastercheddaar — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 09:40:13 -0800

What is everyone making fun of? This kind of stuff is routine in Ohio. Haven't any of ever played "get drunk, dress as a farm animal and chase small children" before?

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 10:46:03 -0800

That is not a supernatural cow.

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 11:32:32 -0800

Haven't any of ever played "get drunk, dress as a farm animal and chase small children" before? Not as a farm animal, no. Unless you know of shoggoth ranches.

By: hazel

hazel — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 12:42:13 -0800

new internet phrase to replace tom cruise's batshit crazy: cowsuit crazy!

By: Kabanos

Kabanos — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 13:06:55 -0800

I'm afraid to click on that "Enlarge" button.

By: Lipstick Thespian

Lipstick Thespian — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 13:12:37 -0800

Now, see, back in my day, we kids would dress up like cows and terrorize the girls. We didn't pee on their lawns or anything, though. okay, I did. Cowsuits don't have good zippers and I had to make.