Comments on: A People's Guide to Better Living

A People's Guide to Better Living

netbros — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 22:42:54 -0800

How to Get Rid of Things — a do-it-yourself guide dedicated to helping you prevent, eliminate or remove common annoyances from your life. For example: How to Get Rid of Voles. "Once you have the vole in hand, simply squeeze until you hear the pop."

How to Get Rid of Love Bites — Kayan neck rings; the best defense against love bites. How to Get Rid of Goth Kids — Unlike an itchy nose when you're unable to scratch it, Goths tend to go away when ignored. How to Get Rid of Cat Urine — Sorry hippies, all the Nag Champa in India won't cover up that smell. And many more...

By: allen.spaulding

allen.spaulding — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 22:52:28 -0800

Is it wrong that the first thing I searched for is Jews? What does that say about me?

By: louche mustachio

louche mustachio — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 23:00:01 -0800

You know who else wanted to... never mind.

By: imabanana

imabanana — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 23:03:57 -0800

They left off a great way of getting rid of voles: golden retriever. I speak with firsthand knowledge. My three year old golden retriver gulping down a squirming vole because she thought I might try to take her "treat" away was not something I was at all prepared to see that day, let me tell you.

By: Fiasco da Gama

Fiasco da Gama — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 23:07:50 -0800

They're SEO arseholes, writing like arseholes. Cute.

By: Avenger

Avenger — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 23:18:42 -0800

So AskMe is basically this, but more "How to get rid of dead bodies/relationships"?

By: XMLicious

XMLicious — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 23:21:50 -0800

"Once you have the SO in hand, simply squeeze until you hear the pop."

By: pwnguin

pwnguin — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 23:30:41 -0800

Sadly, they don't know how to get rid of hippies, lawyers or emos.

By: clearly

clearly — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 23:51:15 -0800

"Once you have the SO in hand, simply squeeze until you hear the pop." "Once you have the taters in hand, simply squeeze until you hear the pop." I solemnly swear to never mention taters ever again.

By: smoke

smoke — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 23:55:02 -0800

"Once you have the taters in hand, simply squeeze until you hear the pop." I wouldn't do that, squeeze too hard and bam! Herpes.

By: maxwelton

maxwelton — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 00:07:18 -0800

Out here we have an aerial service which removes voles. The best way to enlist them in that endeavor is mow your hayfield; it takes me about eight hours to mow ten acres, and over that period a single pair of red-tailed hawks carried away 16 voles that I saw. Mind, I expect voles probably have a population density of tens per acre so sixteen probably doesn't even make a dent. Impressive, though. I'm trying to imagine what the hawk's nest looked like. They'd be eating leftover vole for weeks.

By: bicyclefish

bicyclefish — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 00:21:26 -0800

I looked up "human emotions." Nothing. This site will not help me.

By: equalpants

equalpants — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 00:22:18 -0800

"Once you have the SO in hand, simply squeeze until you hear the pop."

By: Partario

Partario — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 00:41:23 -0800

Okay, what does SEO mean? In reference to the Meta thread on new user contributions, mine seems to be asking questions on behalf of all those saying "What?" Also, if you want to see something "pop" try searching Youtube for "blackhead" or "pimple"! What fun!

By: tellurian

tellurian — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 00:43:49 -0800

The Saint Paul Media, Inc. portfolio is funnier.

By: tellurian

tellurian — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 00:45:26 -0800

Partario - SEO.

By: zachlipton

zachlipton — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 00:54:46 -0800

allen.spaulding: I realize you were trying to be funny, but really. Not cool.

By: Pronoiac

Pronoiac — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 01:42:52 -0800

Red-tailed hawks like voles, eh? *makes a note for the next meetup*

By: DecemberBoy

DecemberBoy — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 02:34:39 -0800

Once you have the wang in hand, simply squeeze until... no, I'm sorry, I can't finish this sentence.

By: notreally

notreally — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 04:33:06 -0800

Chose not to read it. But did it describe a method for eliminating trolls and superfluous comments?

By: elfgirl

elfgirl — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 04:49:32 -0800

Red-tailed hawks like voles, eh? Explains why we don't have any. We have a nesting pair in our backyard. (We have a dearth of squirrels, too.)

By: tellurian

tellurian — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 05:23:40 -0800

I mean really, I can't tell anymore - Rapid Fire Street Level Apologetics "There are many challenges facing Catholics today, but perhaps none are more distressing than 'Bible Only' Christians who seem to have the whole Bible memorized."

By: idiopath

idiopath — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 05:23:54 -0800

The one for getting rid of loneliness presumes one has a boyfriend, girlfriend, or friends. Fat lot of good that does me.

By: item

item — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 05:45:46 -0800

Also, if you want to see something "pop" try searching Youtube for "blackhead" or "pimple"! What fun ! Oh. My. God.

By: Secret Life of Gravy

Secret Life of Gravy — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 06:34:24 -0800

How to get rid of voles? Look hungry.

By: Phanx

Phanx — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 06:52:27 -0800

Careful when you mess with voles.

By: idiopath

idiopath — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 07:12:30 -0800

Also: voles.

By: elfgirl

elfgirl — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 07:23:42 -0800

The one for getting rid of loneliness presumes one has a boyfriend, girlfriend, or friends. "...simply squeeze until you hear the pop."

By: tryniti

tryniti — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 07:29:06 -0800

I had to google "vole" to figure out what you guys were talking about.

By: mippy

mippy — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 08:29:08 -0800

FUCKING HELL METAFILTER WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME

By: lholladay

lholladay — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 09:40:49 -0800

Seems like a majority of the articles are in the Beauty and Physical Health section. And they also link to this rather dubious site on the homepage. I smell an SEO site designed to get people to buy Witch Hazel.

By: Guy_Inamonkeysuit

Guy_Inamonkeysuit — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 13:03:45 -0800

Phanx, these voles of which you speak... they have a very very funny web site, there, "Voles were able to impose their wills upon human composers with alarming ease and forced them to use sacred Vole rhythm patterns and harmonic techniques. Dominant Seventh chords, thought at one stage to be tools of the Devil, are now known to be tools of Voles. Many human composers became so possessed by the near-crazed state brought about by the Vole music that they would frequently forget their own identities and start crawling around in the grass making shrill squeaking noises."

By: Guy_Inamonkeysuit

Guy_Inamonkeysuit — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 13:30:06 -0800

I now know why J.K. Rowling named her chief bad guy Voledemort.

By: allen.spaulding

allen.spaulding — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 14:24:06 -0800

zachlipton - did you* really think I'm a bigot? That I would come here and say that I was trying to exterminate Jews and wonder what that said about me? You couldn't possible look at my profile, see both a Groucho Marx and a Woody Allen reference and think just maybe I'm one of those, you know, neurotic Jews who thinks the world is out to get them? That I was embarrassed that I had to make sure that Jews weren't seen as voles on this site? Man, I wonder what kind of world you live in. [Not "did you" but "jew." I distinctly heard him say]

By: jfwlucy

jfwlucy — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 09:18:32 -0800

How to get rid of kidney stones? They will eventually pass thorough my vagina if I am patient. Not in this world.