Comments on: No Department of Agriculture blood subsidies?

No Department of Agriculture blood subsidies?

amber_dale — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 11:49:14 -0800

Simulated U.S. Government Agency Responses to Vampire-Americans "Every spring, [the Patterson School of Diplomacy and International Commerce] runs a policy simulation designed to illustrate the difficulty of operating an organization in the context of asymmetric and limited information. Every fall, I run a two hour mini-simulation designed to give students a sense of how the larger simulation will play out. ... Since vampires seem to be in the news lately, this year I chose a vampire oriented scenario."

By: filthy light thief

filthy light thief — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 11:53:15 -0800

Retractable fangs? Impossible!

By: Pope Guilty

Pope Guilty — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 11:57:44 -0800

a CIA vampire killed Salvador Allende I fucking KNEW IT!

By: GuyZero

GuyZero — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 11:57:52 -0800

if I was General Mills I would be buying up cocoa and marbits like there was no tomorrow. You gotta hits these trends while theyr'e hot.

By: rough ashlar

rough ashlar — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 12:01:02 -0800

Vampire - takes life force to feed itself. Now...what other kinds of things sound like that, and what will be the agency response? "Sell plasma" is number sixteen a list of sixty ways "to gather funds" California attorney Amy Kleinpeter said had been sent to her client as an addendum to the company's customer enrollment package.

By: delmoi

delmoi — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 12:01:13 -0800

US military had employed vampires since the Civil War. In World War II, an entire brigade sized unit was created, although it was mainly concerned with responding to the activities of German and Japanese vampires. I also indicated that many analysts believed that Osama Bin Laden was a vampire, and that Al Qaeda seemed comfortable with the use of vampiric agents. What about Condi Rice?

By: Obscure Reference

Obscure Reference — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 12:03:57 -0800

With vampires the devil is always in the details Ya think?

By: cjorgensen

cjorgensen — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 12:06:53 -0800

Vampires have to intentionally create additional vampires by force feeding "candidate" victims. Yeah, like they wouldn't have emo kids lined around the block. They make a lot of weird assumptions and conclusions. Also funny how in the scenario the author throws out the sensitivity to religious items, and other traditional vulnerabilities. This is still a cool exercise. I'm not sure why vampires would keep the loyalties from their previous lives though. Ok, I'm discussing vampires on the internet. Someone put a stake in me.

By: Joe Beese

Joe Beese — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 12:08:37 -0800

We'll fund and arm an anti-vampire insurgency of werewolves. Then the werewolves will begin attacking us. Then we'll take out the Number 2 werewolf with a drone strike. Then the Pentagon will deny local reports that 10-20 wolf cubs were killed in the attack. Then they'll acknowledge them as regrettable collateral damage.

By: billysumday

billysumday — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 12:10:36 -0800

We'll fund and arm an anti-vampire insurgency of werewolves. What happens when a vampire and a werewolf bite each other at the same time? And how exactly did the Creature from the Black Lagoon kill people? Heave-ho!

By: oinopaponton

oinopaponton — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 12:11:20 -0800

So he's showing them True Blood, basically?

By: echo target

echo target — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 12:12:40 -0800

Liaise with Interpol regarding transnational vampire threats. I thought they already did this. Do you mean we're currently unprotected?!

By: amber_dale

amber_dale — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 12:22:26 -0800

So he's showing them True Blood, basically? Yep, as it says in the second paragraph of the post: "The scenario was broadly organized around the motivating concept of True Blood."

By: a robot made out of meat

a robot made out of meat — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 12:31:08 -0800

What about transsexual vampire threats? Does interpol liaise about them?

By: Benjy

Benjy — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 12:34:30 -0800

I wish they had included the IRS, FTC, and SEC in their analysis. Sure, most CEOs are already inhuman beasts that live in darkness and suck the life out of humanity, but vampire CEOs have the potential to do it for an even longer period.

By: Greg Nog

Greg Nog — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 12:35:16 -0800

TEAM JACOB

By: Jon_Evil

Jon_Evil — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 12:35:55 -0800

If the vampires really have centuries-long lifespans, the CIA and DHS really need to get going on identifying people presumed dead who could actually be vampires and may be actively working to threaten American security. Stalin, Jefferson Davis, Hitler, Benedict Arnold, J Edgar Hoover, Reagan, etc.

By: eyeballkid

eyeballkid — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 12:38:48 -0800

I wonder how the the earlier zombie scenario went. I assume it involved a massive program to plant rows of sunflowers, repeaters, wall nuts and torch woods in America's yards (and lily pads with cat tails in homes with swimming pools).

By: hal_c_on

hal_c_on — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 12:45:04 -0800

You're doing it wrong...its not vampires we should be worried about...its Zombies. Just ask these guys. SLYT

By: Pope Guilty

Pope Guilty — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 13:37:04 -0800

Yeah, like they wouldn't have emo kids lined around the block. I dunno when goth and emo became synonymous but mister, I don't like it. ?TEAM JACOB TEAM TYLER'S VAN

By: Pope Guilty

Pope Guilty — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 13:38:23 -0800

Although come to think of it, Interview With the Vampire : Goth :: Twilight : Emo.

By: aeschenkarnos

aeschenkarnos — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 13:39:23 -0800

cjorgensen This is still a cool exercise. I'm not sure why vampires would keep the loyalties from their previous lives though. I thought it most probably refers to effects from the sire/childe process, for example involuntary obedience and physical weakness when fighting the sire (eg Bill imprisoned by Lorena, S02E07-08). Also former social position in vampire heirarchies is likely to be of great importance to those who were at the top, even if all are now equal under the law. (Itself a passing philosophical fad in the eyes of a 150+ year old.)

By: Rhaomi

Rhaomi — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 15:05:51 -0800

I wish he'd post some of the other scenario results, especially that Independence Day one. it certainly sounds like an interesting clean-up operation...

By: fuse theorem

fuse theorem — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 18:46:26 -0800

As long as the vampires don't sparkle, I'm cool with scenario proposed in the simulation. I'd like to see some of this incorporated into the True Blood series. Vampires have to intentionally create additional vampires by force feeding "candidate" victims. Yeah, like they wouldn't have emo kids lined around the block. Or, in True Blood parlance, "fang bangers". I also don't understand why this had to be specified. What other way would vampires propagate, since they don't have any living "biology" to reproduce otherwise? Whatevs. I, for one, would welcome our new vampire overlords. Yeah, baby, bite me.