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"And right now it’s time for athletics, and over to Brian Goebbels..."
September 12, 2025 2:58 AM Subscribe

As Australia prepares to host the 2032 Olympics, some canoeists are getting salty. In common with many other games, some of Brisbane's Olympic events will be held hundreds of kilometres from Brisbane itself: in the case of canoeing and rowing, on the Fitzroy River in Rockhampton, Central Queensland. The problem? Rocky and the river are nowadays within range of the saltwater crocodile, which can grow up to six metres long and weigh hundreds of kilograms. Salties kill one or two people every year in Australia's Far North.
posted by rory (11 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

"Does it ever worry you that you’re actually going to be chewed up by a bloody great crocodile?"
posted by rory at 2:59 AM on September 12 [4 favorites]

They don’t have to be the fastest rowing team, they just have to be slightly faster than the other team
posted by The River Ivel at 4:48 AM on September 12 [18 favorites]

no, that's not the kind of sculling draw we meant, sheila
posted by lalochezia at 5:53 AM on September 12 [1 favorite]

For those who came in late, this story should also be considered in the context of the Kater family’s multi-generational anti-crocodile vendetta.
posted by No-sword at 6:06 AM on September 12 [1 favorite]

I mean, this might actually interest me in watching the olympics.
posted by Thorzdad at 7:39 AM on September 12 [2 favorites]

six meters????????? jmfc!
posted by supermedusa at 9:27 AM on September 12

Wasn't there some kind of survey one year that the Olympics were held in which many if not most people said that they'd be willing to die within a year of getting a gold medal if they knew that they'd win? Well, this is sort of that, or at least adjacent. Maybe it's just The Long Walk being turned into a movie, but...
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:07 PM on September 12

More like the Long Croc amirite
posted by No-sword at 2:15 AM on September 13

Has someone asked Bob Katter for comment?
posted by pompomtom at 5:28 PM on September 13

Katter's comments on the 2032 games have been more about "crocodile gods" than crocodiles.
posted by rory at 1:26 AM on September 14 [1 favorite]

Oh hells…. I shouldn’t even try to joke about the man. Reality gets the last laugh again….
posted by pompomtom at 12:14 AM on September 16

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“Why?” asked Larry, in his practical way. "Sergeant," admonished the Lieutenant, "you mustn't use such language to your men." "Yes," accorded Shorty; "we'll git some rations from camp by this evenin'. Cap will look out for that. Meanwhile, I'll take out two or three o' the boys on a scout into the country, to see if we can't pick up something to eat." Marvor, however, didn't seem satisfied. "The masters always speak truth," he said. "Is this what you tell me?" MRS. B.: Why are they let, then? My song is short. I am near the dead. So Albert's letter remained unanswered—Caro felt that Reuben was unjust. She had grown very critical of him lately, and a smarting dislike coloured her [Pg 337]judgments. After all, it was he who had driven everybody to whatever it was that had disgraced him. He was to blame for Robert's theft, for Albert's treachery, for Richard's base dependence on the Bardons, for George's death, for Benjamin's disappearance, for Tilly's marriage, for Rose's elopement—it was a heavy load, but Caro put the whole of it on Reuben's shoulders, and added, moreover, the tragedy of her own warped life. He was a tyrant, who sucked his children's blood, and cursed them when they succeeded in breaking free. "Tell my lord," said Calverley, "I will attend him instantly." HoME 苍井空番号迅雷链接 ENTER NUMBET 0017
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