Dude, how 'bout a link to that Maxim article? Cause so far, Jet Blue has primarily been a reference to the color of my nuts by the end of the flight!
posted by jonson at 12:48 AM on February 14, 2003

Ok... jonson, are you sure you're not lost looking for FARK? Actually, I wouldn't mind meeting a woman like those idealized by movies from the 40's. Not the staying in the kitchen business, more along the lines of Jennifer Jason Leigh's character in 'The Hudsucker Proxy'. (Okay that movies from the 90's, whatever). Does it work the other way around? I'm all for being a gentleman, but can a guy expect a lady to be a lady without being labelled sexist?
posted by efalk at 3:09 AM on February 14, 2003

...can a guy expect a lady to be a lady without being labelled sexist?

In the 21st century? No.

Actually, I find this pretty depressing. I've held doors open for both men and women, which I always thought was the polite thing to do. Am I now being bi-sexually sexist?
posted by neurodoc at 7:46 AM on February 14, 2003

Not too sure about their fashion suggestions. Boring! If you're going way-retro romantic, why not go back a century or two further and dress something like this fine fellow? Frilly yet not Fauntleroy. For for the stylish love-seeking wolf.
Aargh!
posted by Shane at 8:40 AM on February 14, 2003

Attention Men: Woo your love tonight by transforming yourself into a 19th Century Gentleman.

Bad teeth, body odor and all? No thanks.
posted by nofundy at 8:41 AM on February 14, 2003

Although your Maxim may tell you how to bring your mate into ecstasy during takeoff in an airplane restroom

One more reason living in DC sucks! We have to stay seated in the first and last 30 minutes of flights out of/into National, man are we missing out!
posted by Pollomacho at 8:47 AM on February 14, 2003

Actually, I find this pretty depressing. I've held doors open for both men and women, which I always thought was the polite thing to do. Am I now being bi-sexually sexist?

no- that article was about chivalry, not politeness (or "civility"). The difference is that chivalry is based in gender roles. I open doors for people and walk through doors held open for me, regardless of the sex of the other person. But the chivalrous man would not walk through a door held open by a woman. I have run into this on occasion, a man refusing to walk through a door I'm holding - he shakes his head, being polite, no no, I insist, you go first, and I say, no no, really it's okay, and he says, no, go ahead and reaches above to hold the door open for me.

I don't think it's terrible or dangerous or anything, but I do get the impression from such exchanges that those men really do believe women are just not quite as capable, and that it would be embarrassing or emasculating for them to walk through a door I held open.

Politeness (and civility) is great. If being a gentleman means being courteous and respectful to your fellow human beings, cool. But chivalry doesn't work for me-if being a gentleman means treating a woman as if she were some prized and delicate thing, rather than a flesh and blood human being just like you, then I don't see the benefit.
posted by mdn at 9:20 AM on February 14, 2003

Stan Chin, will you be my Valentine?
posted by widdershins at 11:20 AM on February 14, 2003

And jonson, that Maxim article tells how to bring your MATE into ecstacy. Most probably will do nothing for your unfortunate condition, but if you're not selfish maybe you'll be rewarded later... God, it's good to be a woman.
posted by widdershins at 11:25 AM on February 14, 2003

can a guy expect a lady to be a lady without being labelled sexist?

I think that depends on what you mean by being "a lady".
posted by biscotti at 12:37 PM on February 14, 2003

mdn: I hold doors open for women and if I drop a women off at her apartment, I wait until she gets in the door. I don't think women are helpless bunnies, and I know they can hold their own doors open themselves. That's not the point. The point is to make things easier for them or to show concern for their well-being, it seems to me.

It's not emasculating to go through a door that a woman hold open, but it is a little embarassing, because it means I failed at holding the door open for her. (I will concede that there are probably sexist assumptions underlying the social expectations of chivalry, and speculate that there are also probably deep evolutionary impulses at work, too.)

Demographic factors: I'm 38 and I grew up in northern Virginia (which is not nearly as Southern as many people think).
posted by kirkaracha at 4:52 PM on February 14, 2003