Toaster? I just rotated, motorized, illuminated, and set 'er to music!
posted by ORthey at 12:46 PM on March 2, 2008 [1 favorite]

I like my red toaster.

But I wanna toaster with a rotating lid, motorized bread carriage, and illuminating neons!!!

Dear AskMetafilter: will people think know I am a losergeek if I have 2 toasters on my kitchen counter?
posted by The Deej at 12:48 PM on March 2, 2008

Wow, that's a fancy toaster.

But how do you light a smoke off of it?
posted by loquacious at 12:57 PM on March 2, 2008 [3 favorites]

I can't see any use for that lid -- I like good indicators that my toast is burning, such as smoke.
posted by spiderskull at 1:00 PM on March 2, 2008

It has illuminating neon's. Get it right, people.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 1:03 PM on March 2, 2008 [1 favorite]

You know, for a fancy toaster, it sure doesn't make a good piece of toast. Did anyone else notice teh really uneven browning?
posted by Deathalicious at 1:05 PM on March 2, 2008

teh the
hangs head in shame
posted by Deathalicious at 1:06 PM on March 2, 2008 [1 favorite]

Appliances in the UK are so much cooler than appliciances in the US.

My (American) wife fell in love with my (British) sister's electric kettle when we were in the UK this Christmas. It glows seven different colours and boils water in what seems to be nano-seconds. Unfortunately it isn't dual voltage so we couldnt buy one there and bring it back with us.

This might have been the kettle in question.
posted by schwa at 1:09 PM on March 2, 2008

I wonder what goes on behind closed doors
posted by pwally at 1:15 PM on March 2, 2008 [2 favorites]

I bought a motorised toaster, partly based on this review that likened it to a bread crematorium.

It had trouble recognising bread being inserted, regularly got stuck, then packed in completely. I gave it an undignified burial at the rubbish tip.
posted by malevolent at 1:17 PM on March 2, 2008 [1 favorite]

boils water in what seems to be nano-seconds.

That's more a function of the UK having actual electrical power coming out of the sockets, rather than the fizzing fart you lot have to put up with, though. No wonder hardly any of you drink tea.
posted by Brockles at 1:21 PM on March 2, 2008 [3 favorites]

What I like is the videower's passion and your post title, Open the toast bay doors, Hal. (videoer's?)

The art of toast. Transparent toaster. Dr. Toast¡¯s Amazing World of Toast.
posted by nickyskye at 1:24 PM on March 2, 2008

*Burns bread*

TOP THAT, KUBRICK!
posted by Smart Dalek at 1:35 PM on March 2, 2008 [2 favorites]

I drink tea and I have a Russell Hobbs electric kettle. I am the only person I know in the US that has an electric kettle, though.

I also have a toaster that accomplishes everything useful that this one does.
posted by trip and a half at 1:40 PM on March 2, 2008

And I like that CheeseDigestsAll is the poster. While not eponysterical, is still fitting somehow.
posted by nickyskye at 1:41 PM on March 2, 2008

Oh and re the kettle: I meant to say that you will have to pry it from my cold, dead hands.
posted by trip and a half at 1:46 PM on March 2, 2008

Wow, imagine not having to go through the drudgery of pushing the lever on the toaster down! Who says that innovation is dead?
posted by octothorpe at 1:58 PM on March 2, 2008

Bah, I was hoping someone had gussied up their toaster with a cylonesque visor and set it to play Six's theme when the toast pops up. Capitalism, you have failed me.
posted by longdaysjourney at 2:09 PM on March 2, 2008

Well, now mathowie knows what to do with the windfall from that rash of jokey sock puppet signups.
posted by nanojath at 2:11 PM on March 2, 2008

Mayostardfilter.
posted by papakwanz at 2:14 PM on March 2, 2008

Meh, lacks USB port/media server.
posted by mosk at 2:26 PM on March 2, 2008

That's more a function of the UK having actual electrical power coming out of the sockets, rather than the fizzing fart you lot have to put up with, though. No wonder hardly any of you drink tea.

I'm not an electrical genius but I think it's more to do with the wattage of the kettles themselves. All the ones i find in Canada are 1500W. Back in England we were spoiled with a 3000W beauty like the one above.
posted by Frasermoo at 2:40 PM on March 2, 2008

Well, this goes a long way toward explaining why, despite its presence on my shopping list, I can never find toast in the supermarket. Apparently I'm just supposed to go ahead and fucking cook it myself using some crazy spaceship.

Thanks, life. What next? Am I going to have to use R2D2 to put bubbles into my soda?
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:41 PM on March 2, 2008 [4 favorites]

I drink tea and I have a Russell Hobbs electric kettle. I am the only person I know in the US that has an electric kettle, though.

I have five of the electric kettle beasts, although none by Russell Hobbs. How do people live without them?
posted by grounded at 2:54 PM on March 2, 2008

Frasermoo: UK (and most of the rest of the world) have 220V outlets, the US has 120v. At a amperage (most domestic fuses are 15A on both sides of the pond) twice the voltage is twice the wattage.

I have an electric kettle and I make toast in the broiler.
posted by Skorgu at 2:55 PM on March 2, 2008

That's more a function of the UK having actual electrical power coming out of the sockets, rather than the fizzing fart you lot have to put up with, though.

But consider the convenience of our USB toaster.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 3:15 PM on March 2, 2008

Well, this goes a long way toward explaining why, despite its presence on my shopping list, I can never find toast in the supermarket.

Exactly. After all, they cook it halfway there, why can't they be bothered to finish the damn thing off?
posted by Brockles at 3:19 PM on March 2, 2008

grounded: "I have five of the electric kettle beasts, although none by Russell Hobbs. How do people live without them?"

I heat the tea kettle on the stove. It's fast, cheaper than electricity and I don't need to clutter up the counter with one more damn appliance.
posted by octothorpe at 3:27 PM on March 2, 2008

Morning all. I'd like to tell you about when I was a young boy. I must have been three or four months old at the time. I didn't really know what I wanted, and if I did, I wouldn't have been able to tell anybody, 'cos all I could do was gurgle. So I sat there in me highchair, thinking one day, looking at me tray and thinking what I'd give for a meal on there. So I started looking round to see what I could have. I was rubbing me eggy soldier in me head, trying to think, and then I looked in the corner and there's a little breadbin with its mouth open, just staring at me, like. And then I looked in and I saw bread.
posted by maudlin at 3:45 PM on March 2, 2008 [2 favorites]

I can't believe people actually eat that kind of white bread. I thought it was an artifact from the Horizons "lifestyles of the 21st century" pavillion at Epcot Centre.
posted by loiseau at 3:53 PM on March 2, 2008

What is this "white bread?"
posted by Dizzy at 3:58 PM on March 2, 2008

But does it toast steak?
posted by pantsonfire at 4:14 PM on March 2, 2008 [1 favorite]

^The first thing I thought when the video started playing: "You spent sixty bucks on a toaster, and you're gonna toast fuckin' Wonder Bread?"

The second thought: "That's gonna break in less than a year."
posted by not_on_display at 4:38 PM on March 2, 2008

maudlin, you just made our evening.
posted by Frasermoo at 4:40 PM on March 2, 2008

If my toast gets stuck in a toaster with clam shell doors shut, how will I retrieve it with my fork?
posted by Tube at 5:10 PM on March 2, 2008

It has illuminating neon's. Get it right, people.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 3:03 PM on March 2

According to this website and this website, the apostrophe has no business in that sentence: it is correctly "It has illuminating neons." CheeseDigestsAll DID get it right.
posted by Daddy-O at 5:36 PM on March 2, 2008

Skorgu: Frasermoo: UK (and most of the rest of the world) have 220V outlets, the US has 120v. At a amperage (most domestic fuses are 15A on both sides of the pond) twice the voltage is twice the wattage.

Yeah, but since W (wattage) = V (voltage) ^2 / R (resistance), and for a given appliance R is constant, twice the voltage gives you four times the power ...
posted by kcds at 5:56 PM on March 2, 2008

Flagged as "bereft of bacon."
posted by middleclasstool at 6:03 PM on March 2, 2008

oh, we had electric kettles all the time when i was growing up because my dad loved tea and was occasionally absent-minded when he put the kettle on. i've got an electric kettle and a tea maker, too.
posted by rmd1023 at 6:48 PM on March 2, 2008

I kind of like that. If I have someone in the UK buy it for me and then bring it to me in the States, can I plug it into our electrical system (assuming I have a plug form-factor adapter thingumy)?
posted by Rock Steady at 6:55 PM on March 2, 2008

My god, it's full of stars!
posted by anthill at 6:57 PM on March 2, 2008

I heat the tea kettle on the stove. It's fast, cheaper than electricity and I don't need to clutter up the counter with one more damn appliance.

octothorpe, electric kettles are up to 50% more energy efficient than stovetops and boil water twice as fast.

But you've got me on clutter. Although if you have a toaster and a kettle, do you really need a stovetop at all?
posted by grounded at 8:05 PM on March 2, 2008

This is all fine and dandy, but it would be much better wrapped in bacon.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 8:07 PM on March 2, 2008

Grounded, I make tea about twice a year and toast maybe four times, I could probably do without either a kettle or a toaster.
posted by octothorpe at 8:14 PM on March 2, 2008

Screw you and your electric kettles. When my aunt moved back to the states after living in Hong Kong, she put in this, which is by far the fastest and most convenient way to make tea.

I am now spoiled by it from visiting her house, and all future kitchen sinks in my house (of my mind) will feature one.

Also, unrelated, but all future mudroom and master bathrooms will feature a waterless urinal.
posted by mrzarquon at 8:55 PM on March 2, 2008

The third time my wife left an empty kettle on the stove until it freaking melted we went out and bought an electric kettle. It is five kinds of awesome, and we're never going back.

Also, DualIts are the one true toaster. Perfect toast every time.
posted by BrotherCaine at 12:12 AM on March 3, 2008

kcds: admittedly I'm no power engineer, but P=VI is more relevant here I think. P=V²/R takes I as unrestricted but residential current is limited to 15A (or thereabout).

If you were making an engineering joke, I'm far too dense to have gotten it and I apologize for being pedantic :)
posted by Skorgu at 4:55 AM on March 3, 2008